


Always In My Heart

by orphan_account



Series: Hey Lover [6]
Category: Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Choking, Emotional Hurt, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Rough Sex, Sort Of, Topping from the Bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 09:38:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20544020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tomorrow before Alex wakes up, Miles will get up and leave the house, with his hands empty but his heart occupied. What Miles receives is enough to hurt for a while, until next time he comes back for a new scar.A sequel to Never In Your Arms.





	Always In My Heart

Always In My Heart

In the beginning, he would say things he didn’t mean to let out. It’s either to keep Alex close or to keep Alex away, depending on which phase they were in, at that particular moment. The times that happens begin to decrease as they go down the road together, as Miles has been taught to be patient, resilient and enduring. 

“Don’t you ever get tired of it?” Asks Miles, just because he’s curious to know. Curiosity has become the perfect disguise for them both: For Alex it is an excuse for desire. For Miles, a duplicate of love. In the most natural, unavoidable way, he’s fallen in love with Alex multiple times throughout the years. To this point, Miles starts to think of it more as an untreatable chronic disease.

Alex lets whatever he’s holding in his hands roll down on the carpeted floor. He keeps his head down. “Do you, Miles?”

Miles thinks about the question, trying to sort out each layer of meaning to it. “Sometimes.” He complains lightly. “I’m only a man. I do get scared, from time to time.”

“A man is a bit of an understatement.” Says Alex. There, few inches away from his fingertips, is a chew bone for dogs. Sometimes Miles forgets Alex doesn’t live alone, because he always comes over when she’s away, taking over her place like the filthy thief he has shamefully become. He’s no man, in a sense. He’s the ghost being shoved in the dark.

Miles slips down on the floor as well. Alex takes it as a free pass for touching. Outside the shade of the sky is deepening. Alex’s face is softened by the dim light in the living room, despite all his hair being slicked back. The first thing Miles does is to fight the pomade with his fingers, making Alex giggle with amusement. 

In a mocking tone he teases, “What, I thought you liked it?” 

“I like it because I get to do this.”

Alex’s nose winkles with a snort. He is still smiling. “Well, guess I shall style it more often then. Tell me, Miles…what else do you like?”

Miles leans in to kiss him. The hand Alex uses to pull him close is rough and impatient. That’s how Alex likes everything to be done, no matter being on the receiving end or the one who’s doing all the work. The brutal elements in sex seem to clean Alex’s conscience, if he only has one. There’s very little left for Miles to do, when the older man has him pinned down on the floor and bites on his collar bone so hard that it almost feels like Alex means to keep a piece of him for later.

They haven’t made it to the guest bedroom. Alex’s thighs tense and tremble as he guides Miles’ cock inside himself, a muffled moan pinched deadly on the bottom lip by his teeth. Miles is often the one who talks way too much during sex, but he loses words when Alex looks down into his eyes, mouth slightly ajar and face flushed with pure pleasure.

The light in the room always brings Alex closer. Miles likes it so much more when he gets to see Alex’s face, to see how he opens up and lets go, being true to himself and mad about what they do. Miles moves with him, hip driving up to bring Alex closer to heaven. The first breathless scream he coaxes out of Alex comes almost as a surprise. Miles groans, eyes licking every part of Alex greedily. He catches the faded hickey just when Alex throws his head back and whimpers loudly, shaking all over, cock dripping and aching for attention.

“I hope she doesn’t mind.” Miles hisses, fingers dig into Alex butt revengefully. He sounds so petty and it’s almost embarrassing to meet Alex’s gaze afterwards.

Alex frowns at the attack, but not bothered enough to stop. He’s got no reply for Miles, only half moans, half sneers, grinding down once again, one hand reaching down to touch himself and the other going up to shut Miles up.

The second Alex’s hand tightens around his neck, Miles loses it. He feels the climax approaching as the pressure increases more and more, taking away the oxygen and also Alex’s names on the tip of his tongue. Alex encourages him, circling his hips teasingly and tightens around him as if he’s craving Miles just as much. The feeling undoes Miles. He comes inside Alex in forced silence, blacking out for a good few seconds.

When Miles comes around, the pressure around his neck is gone, but Alex’s hand is still there. Thus, the feeling of suffocation lingers, making his chest tight and head extremely heavy. Alex hums out a content laugh at his compliance, knees rubbing on the carpet. He stops moving once all Miles can smell is Alex, his mouth watering at the sight.

Alex makes sure Miles is watching nowhere but his face. “Open up, babe.” The older man coos darkly. The hand resting on Miles’ neck drags up and holds his draw as hard as an unescapable trap. Miles obeys with a raspy sigh. There's no need to pretend he doesn't want the same. He’s got tears staining all over his face when Alex finishes down his throat. Luckily, it’s easy to blame that on gag reflex. Later when they take their separate shower, Miles still feels the imaginary pain if he swallows.

Some days, Alex walks him out of the door because she’ll be back soon, _and she certainly does mind_. Some days, like today, Miles gets to spend the night. As usual, Alex sneaks into the room Miles is staying. After all, it’s the omens of devotion that Alex doesn’t want, not Miles’ company.

He’s too exhausted to survive an argument today, so all Miles does is wrap himself around Alex quietly. “I still do.” Miles clarifies, just as Alex is about to turn around and hides his face from him. The smaller man shudders in his arms, and Miles’ heart aches for the doomed, upcoming sentence he’s gonna get one more time.

“Miles,” Alex caresses his face gently. It’s simple for Alex to understand him all the time. Miles can do the same, sometimes. Alex looks sad, a bit torn, but never surprised. His eyes appear dangerously deep and dark when the light is off. “I’ve told you.”

Miles lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s holding. It’s not like Alex hasn’t been clear about what they can enjoy and what they can’t have. Yet however blunt Alex may be, Miles can never learn.

The taste of disappoint is hard to swallow even if he bites it for a million times. Alex squeezes his hands briefly once Miles settles down. For a moment Miles isn't sure he does it to be comforting or tormenting. “Yeah...I remember.” Eventually he murmurs in defeat, allowing Alex to be a little spoon and end the conversation. At least tonight Alex will be his to hold.

Tomorrow before Alex wakes up, Miles will get up and leave the house, with his hands empty but his heart occupied. What Miles receives is enough to hurt for a while, until next time he comes back for a new scar.

**Author's Note:**

> Not real, but do sue me if they ever get married (I'm joking pls don't  
It's been a weird day so I can allow myself post this. This series contains only sad stories, I guess. Hope you still enjoy ...? As always, thank you so so much for reading


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